Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
it glows. i had to have it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
