Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
