I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
