god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
me + whiskey = a bad person
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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