Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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