Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
