can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
