It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize