I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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