so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
