I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
my liver is dry heaving
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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