I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
