my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
