I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
