Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize