Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
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