I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
