he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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