JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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