he wants to bone in the snuggie
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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