: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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