was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
