If i come over, it means nothing
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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