He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
