i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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