I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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