Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
