One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
