Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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