u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
