that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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