the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
