so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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