PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize