I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
