I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
50% drunk capacity currently
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
