My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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