We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
