She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Randomize
