Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
