I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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