i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
