Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
