She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
