Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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