So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
