I accidentally had phone sex last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
