omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
