i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
