Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
