WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I deserve this hangover.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
