Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The air taste purple.
Randomize
