Already got asked if we're dating
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
