ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize