my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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