Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I will pee on everything he values.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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