I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
