yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
