i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
