Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
