Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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