i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
