yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
