I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
