You're so nebulous sometimes
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
